Friday, January 27, 2012

A love letter to a great friend

Modern life is complicated, people. You need to figure out what you want to "do". You need to find a way to pay your bills and take care of yourself like a grownup. You need to negotiate the pitfalls of romance and social interaction. Add a family, with all the responsibilities that go along with them, into the mix, and, well! You may just need a doctorate in psychology to get through this obstacle course of life. Either that, or know one who will give you free advice.

Thank goodness I have one of these. A old friend who will talk me down from the tower when I'm ready to scream, go fetal and start eating my hair. This week, I sent a despairing email, and my friend promptly answered, explained that perhaps, I was looking at things from an inaccurate perspective, plus sent links to online resources. I don't think he really understands how much this means to me. So, I will try again to express myself.

Dear B,

It was 17 years ago, in the days of care-free youth, that we met in San Francisco. It has been a hoot from the git-go; sneaking vodka shots in the Castro, vast quantities of Chilean Cabernet by candlelight, freezing our asses off walking around the City in July, and more pork roasts than I could possible count.

You and I are in vastly different places now from the days of yore. You are doggedly pursuing your dreams in SoCal and I'm wearily pursuing a set of squirrelly twins on the Central Coast.

Through all my many tribulations, you have been a amazing source of unending support and much needed reality checks. When I landed a husband and a ready-made family, you were there to celebrate with me and gave me a book on step-parenting. When my kids are driving me up the goddamn wall, you patiently explain, again, how all this behavior is developmentally appropriate. And when the fecal matter really hit the fan, you offered your help and support anytime of the day or night, because "emotional crises do not always keep business hours".  When you manage to get the time to visit, my children jump on you with maniacal glee and you play with them, and chase them until they drop, then read 'em a story and tuck them in bed.

English doesn't seem to make the words to properly express gratitude for that kind of friendship. The best I can do is say, thank you, very, very much, my dear friend, for all you have done for me, and my family.

much love,


  1. Could your friend adopt me?? I need somebody who explains me patiently that everything is good and normal! I'm so glad you have a "B" in your life. Hold her tight and never let go!

  2. Everyone should be so lucky to have a B in their life. A lot more people would get a lot further in life.

  3. You expressed what every person wants and needs in their life! Bravo!