Kid: "Why do I have to make my bed?"
Me: "Because I told you to. Your sheets haven't been changed in recorded history."
Kid: "But it's MY bed. Why do I have to put on a top sheet?"
Me: "Because that's the way to make a bed."
Kid: "Why do I have to do it your way?"
Me: "Because parents are here to show you how it's supposed to be done. If it weren't for your parents, you'd be an illiterate, smelly boy with green teeth who ate ice cream with his hands."