During our visit to the Pastors Dodge for New Year's Eve, I met with Elizabeth the Amazing, my potential cooking student. People were all freakin' out that I invited a complete stranger to my house, where my children live, just because I freaked out that she couldn't cook. Honestly, I couldn't see what the big deal was. But I try to respect the opinions of my nearest and dearest, so I emailed Elizabeth about hooking up.
We made plans to meet for lunch on New Year's Eve in Brentwood. As I arrived at the Tavern, there was one, tiny lady with glossy dark hair near the hostess desk. I figured this must be my date. She was dressed beautifully, in black and grey, wearing a vintage-looking rhinestone collar I'd have killed for in my musical theater days. I was dressed in what I like to call "wine country chic". (Incidentally, "wine country chic" looks a lot like "housewife frump") I wore denim trousers, a casual sweater and my cowboy boots. With pearl earrings, to provide the "chic".
We said our smiling hellos, and I promptly hugged her. I felt very tall.
We sat at our corner booth for two and a half hours, yapping away. It probably took us at least 45 minutes just to order, because we were so busy talking. My classiest moment came when taking my first bite into my "Grand Fromage" sandwich (grilled asiago and prosciutto - yum!) Naturally, a large slice of the proscuitto slid out and dangled from my teeth onto my chin. Deciding that spitting it out onto the plate would be tacky, I used several fingers to stuff it into my already full mouth. Yep, that's me; elegant and posh in every way. (If this had been an actual first date, I'm quite certain there wouldn't have been a second....) Elizabeth graciously declined to notice, bless her.
After a couple of hours, Miles appeared. Apparently, he'd been trying to contact me and concluded, correctly, that I was ignoring him. He walked into the restaurant, said hello, and told me it was time to go, Johan was parked in the red zone. I reluctantly tore myself away. Elizabeth walked out to meet the little girls and Johan and as we said our goodbyes, I hugged her again.
Having met Elizabeth, I feel pretty confident about my safety and that of my children when she comes to get her cooking lesson. For one thing, I've got about 5 inches, 70 pounds and 15 years on her. Pretty sure I could her take if it came to fisticuffs.
You forgot to mention your impressive collection of German steel. That might also be why I choose not to cross you or attempt to give you a lawn gnome in your home.=)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm really impressed with the actor I hired to play me (the burly guy from Iowa). i think she did a good job. Purposely chose one that's really short. She says she had a fabulous time and that you are just fun and amazing.