So, I started a new drug for nerve pain a while back. Neurontin, it's called. Apparently, it works by suppressing the central nervous system. It's been pretty effective for me, but the side effects are, well, interesting.
For one thing, I'm clumsy as hell. I was in Ross with the girls a couple weeks ago and knocked over, and broke, this large urn. An $80 urn. The employees were very nice, "don't worry about it" and "happens all the time." I felt like an idiot. Later that same day, I very nearly dropped a stack of lamp shades on my head. Yeesh.
But the worst side effect is my inability to access long-term memory. I notice it most when I'm trying to describe or identify things. A recent example:
Me: "I'd like to line the driveway with that...stuff. You know ...the grass...um, decorative... You know!?"
Miles: "No."
Me: "You know! The....uh....floopy......uh.... hoop-de-do!"
Miles: "'floopy hoop-de-do' ?!?" He dissolves into giggles.
Me: "You know! The purple floopy grass!"
Miles, sniggering: "'Floopy!' "
Me: "Arrgh! Purple.....uh.... fountain grass. That one. What do you think?"
Miles: "About what?" He tries to stop laughing at me.
Me: "Planting purple fountain grass along the ....um...shit!...um...driveway?!"
I just understood all of that perfectly. Perhaps you need to be married to me instead of Miles.
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